Most people who work at a restaurant know how tipping works, and know the most frustrating thing is when some asshole does not even bother leaving one. Here is a little lesson for those who go to a restaurant and leave a shitty tip or no tip.

Yes, I know I chose this job, but you chose to eat here!

First off you little prick, most servers work their asses off and rely on their tips just to survive, yes, I know. I can hear some people saying, “Then don’t bother working at a restaurant then.” I am broke, you fucker, and in college, this job is reasonable with my schedule. If you don’t understand that, then do not bother eating at a restaurant that has a server. We are just trying to make some money, and when you leave a bad tip or no tip at all for your server, you will be remembered.

To the fuckers that whine:

For those who constantly whine about their food, about this and that, and expect something free out of it are the people NO ONE can stand. You know what is free? Me shoving my foot so far up your ass you will be full for days.

Of course you will be treated with great service and a smile, yet you don’t leave a tip, why? Your food didn’t taste like another restaurant’s food? Fuck, go somewhere else with your McDonald’s budget.

And take your children that have been running around screaming and dumping sugar on all the tables. Restaurants are not a day care for your kids, and I am not responsible for them.

I once almost drop kicked a kid when running food to a table because the parents were not keeping an eye on little fucking Jr. Please, be considerate of other people dining and work there. 

When people serve you, treat them how you would want to be treated. Just because I work at a restaurant does not make you above me. There are some people who are savages such as Ryan Reynolds in the movie Waiting. I have never nor have I met anyone who has done such a thing, but that does not mean other people have not. So if you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.  I don’t mean to sound harsh, but this is what servers have to go through. I am human just like you although our jobs may be different we all want to be treated fairly. 

When large parties have separate checks:

Look, I get it, one person doesn’t want to pay for their whole party of eight or 20 people. But when everyone asks for their own check… fuck! There are always those parties where three people do not leave a tip, and two others leave less than five dollars on a bill that is $150.

What happens when you leave your server a bad tip or none at all:

At the end of the night when it is time to checkout, servers must share tips with other people in the restaurant such as, bussers, expo, host/hostess, and the bartender(s).

Each restaurants percentage varies from 5-6 percent from the server’s sales for each person they are tipping out.

So, when a table doesn’t tip then that server still need to pay out their employees from their tips they received from their other tables.

Essentially, you are fucking your server out of a tip, because instead of them keeping the tips they received from their other tables, they then need to give it to their employees for their tip out.

Tip with card or cash:

What is the difference between tipping on card or leaving cash? The difference is when you leave a tip on card then that tip is immediately taxed, so the server doesn’t get that exact tip you just left. Now, with cash it’s different because it is not taxed, and the server receives the full amount.

I cannot do magic:

Look, servers are not wizards. We cannot make your bullshit problems disappear. What we can do is give excellent service, make sure your food came out just right, and make you want to come back. But for those who go out and do not tip, just remember: you are being an asshole and you are only doing yourself a disservice.

Tipping 101: do not be a dildo and servers will compromise with your needs. Just remember: always leave a fair to good tip. Some places will even show the tipping percentages at the bottom to help you out, so please be kind.