Pickup lines. I love them. You probably don’t. They make your mom uncomfortable, but your dad still says them. Overall pickup lines are like parasites, but good parasites, like a small flu that excuses you from missing that physics lecture on terms like abiogenesis or inelastic neutron scattering. (I don’t know what these mean and neither do you because you missed class!). BUT PICKUP LINES! They’re great when you want to hear them, if you want a good laugh or that nice warm fuzzy feeling. But you most likely don’t want to hear them. But with that being said, here are some of my favorite pickup lines, that make me smile and leave me wondering why I’m single.

1. “Omelette you in on a secret. You and I would brie perfectly gouda.”

2. “Are you KFC? ‘Cuz baby when I eat you, you’re finger lickin’ good…”

3. “How do you like your sausage in the morning… grilled or blown?”

4. “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.”

5. “Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.”

6. “You must be Iron Man, because I know this the Stark of something new.”

7. “Girl do you have a foot fetish? Because you’re starting to sweep me off mine.”

8. “On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”

9. “What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk, my zipper.”

10. “They call me ‘The Fireman’ because I turn the hoes on.”

11. “Do you want my squidward in your sandy cheeks?”

12. “I hope you like bad boys because I sure am bad…at everything.”

But I am not bad at everything, because I know that ABIOGENESIS is the original evolution of life and inelastic neutron scattering is a experimental technique used in condense matter research to study atomic and molecular motion as well as magnetic and crystal field excitations…. whatever that means.