Growing up, we learn how to interact with others around us. Some do it better than others. What I learned from my experience is that sometimes people tend to belittle others and that is probably one of my biggest pet peeves.

There are times where I am having a conversation with others and they say one phrase in a belittling voice. But it’s that one line that makes me feel like I missed the memo of what was going on.

Why do people use a belittling voice? Maybe they don’t know or maybe they are just bullies. Overall, it’s not okay.

I’ve had this happen to me multiple times- from family members to old boyfriends or even friends. Every time this happened I’ve always felt a small crack on the image I have of myself. I find myself thinking “Why would you ask a stupid question like that when you know the answer?” or “What I did was stupid.”

The weird thing about this is that everyone does it. Heck, I’ve found myself doing it every now and then and I hate myself right after.

I always try to say sorry when I catch myself but sometimes I end up really hurting someone’s feelings. To see that I’ve broken someone’s self-esteem and to see how they are criticizing themselves is not the best feeling in the world.

My recommendation instead of belittling a person when talking is to take the time to hear what they are saying. Give yourself a minute to process and then reply. You don’t want someone you care about to stop talking to you because of your tone. Or like my mom and every other mom out there said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.”

Ice Cube once said, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself,” and those words should be applied when having a civilized conversation. So be nice and think before you talk.

Who knows you might save a friendship.