Although students see Taylor Muse as the outgoing, bubbly person that she presents to all her friends and professors, her childhood was not at all the same. Throughout her life, Muse, a 20-year-old communication major, had struggles with her identity. On top of being half black and half white, she was also immersed into Spanish culture at her middle school.
Muse was enrolled in a dual-language program at Olive Middle School in Baldwin Park learning Spanish. It was around that time Muse started to struggle with her identity. Learning Spanish was always challenging. When she would go home, Muse had no one to talk to because no one in her family spoke Spanish. Muse was on the verge of dropping out of the program because of how poorly she was doing. In the end, she was the only native English speaker that had graduated from the program in her class.
She later attended Baldwin Park High School and was very involved in school activities. “I made varsity softball my freshman year, and I was captain of the softball team my junior and senior year,” Muse said. Besides being on the varsity softball team, Muse was also the ASB president. But as involved in school as she was, Muse had her own challenges she needed to overcome.
“My grandma died my sophomore year. She was the one who raised me,” Muse said. The doctors had given her grandmother three months to live, but Muse’s sister, a nurse, extended it to six months.
Throughout her sophomore to senior year, Muse was in an on and off again toxic, abusive relationship. She was never able to wear what she wanted without being criticized. She was also never able to talk to anyone she wanted. Whenever they would argue, the fight ended with it always being her fault. There was an instance when her brother caught her being abused.
While she was doing her makeup one day for a rally at school, her boyfriend at the time came in and noticed she was wearing an underwear that he had bought her. Infuriated that she was wearing it without sending him any picture, he grabbed the garment from the sides to pull her up. With all the force, the underwear ripped and her brother saw the whole thing. Trying to calm her brother down, Muse took her boyfriend into her room and they began to argue. After half an hour of arguing and yelling, it was all her fault. They continued to the rally as if nothing had happened.
Muse said that he ruined every single high school event for her. After attempting to cut him off a few times, Muse decided that she did not need that toxicity in her life. He told her that she had many problems, she needed to work on them and that they were done. She was finally free from the abuse.
After high school, Muse attended St. Mary’s College in South Bend, Indiana for a semester. It was there where Muse was finally able to be more comfortable with who she was and her identity.
“With the lack of diversity and a lot of people not knowing how to talk to people of color, I felt kind of on my own,” Muse said. She began to learn how much she appreciated her culture and how much she thought the world needed diversity.
Although she has not been at Mt. SAC for a very long time, Muse has made a big impact on the school. Muse was involved in Associate Students and has helped plan events on campus, such as The Carnival of Culture. Muse graduated in spring 2018 and is currently attending Cal State Fullerton.
