America is being conned by one of the worst shoe designers in the world.
The gold-colored, American-flag-boarded, “Never Surrender High-Tops” went on sale for $399 two days after a New York judge ordered Trump and his companies to pay $355 million in fines. The court ruled he had manipulated his net worth in financial statements.
Coincidence? Definitely not.
A con takes time to develop and according to Politico, there are more fines to come; Trump and his family need to figure out a way to make a quick buck.
I wonder how his people pitched the idea to him? Do you think they flew to him out like Sonny Vaccaro did in the movie “Air,” when he took a trip to North Carolina to meet with Michael Jordan’s mom?
I imagine an assistant who was worried about his own job, flew to Florida, interrupted Trump’s midday McDonald’s snack-break and reminded him of all the money he owes to the state of New York. The assistant probably reiterated the amount of felonies he’s facing in Georgia and Florida.
He mentions something about Trump’s age and how his feet could use extra support so he doesn’t fall while getting into Air Force One. As soon as he says the words, “Air Force One,” a lightbulb turns on. The assistant slaps the burger right out of Trump’s hand and says:
“I got it! What if we sell limited edition, wannabe Air Force Ones with your name on them for a lot of money? Everyone likes limited edition crap! Your fans would buy anything with your name!”
Trump probably ignored all the words the assistant said and focused on the phrase, “Your fans.”
In “Air,” Nike’s basketball talent scout Vaccaro is able to convince Michael Jordan to sign with the company and save the basketball division over popular brands like Adidas and Converse. When meeting with Jordan and his parents, Vaccaro convinced him to sign with Jordan by telling him, “A shoe is just a shoe until your son steps in them.”
When a person steps into a pair of Trump shoes, the person will believe drinking bleach can cure COVID, make the person look better with an orange jumpsuit and make you feel like an idiot for helping Trump pay for the demise of democracy in the United States.
Air Jordans were designed for the future basketball legend to wear during his debut season. Phil Knight, Vaccaro, Rob Strasser and the rest of Nike told Jordan and his family that his shoe brand would promote him as a player and not just the Nike swoosh.
Trump’s kicks don’t have the same cache and aura as Jordan’s. Trump shoes will rely on begging.
The shoes are promoting Trump’s desperation for money and are helping him change the course of history by allowing a crook to take the highest position of power in the country, again. The shoes sole purpose is to get away from paying for his crime using the money raised from his cult-like following.
Throughout the years, Jordans have become a mainstay in pop culture and fashion. They go well with everything – you can dress them up for a work or pair them with a tux to walk the red carpet. The only place anyone can wear a pair of “Never Surrenders” without being judged is at an insurrection. If anyone thinks they can wear them on a basketball court, they’ve obviously never heard the kind of banter that happens at a pick-up basketball game at a local park.
Unlike a pair of “Never Surrenders,” Nike designed Jordans for MJ to play basketball in comfort with a unique style that would make the shoes stand out in the market dominated by shoe brands belonging to Larry Bird and Magic Johnson.
The “Never Surrender High-Tops” would not help you play the game like Trump. They will make you feel like you can whoop Lady Liberty’s butt with a swift kick to the crotch area while crossing over Uncle Sam and dropping a fade-away shot from the paint.
The “Never Surrenders” do have something in common with Air Jordan.
In the film, Nike agrees to pay the NBA fines for having more than the regulated color on the shoes. The “Never Surrender High-Tops,” are helping Trump pay for the crimes he committed.
I wish I could say they’re at least stylish like J’s are.
But, the sneakers look like a prospector that accidentally ate gold and defecated on basic high-tops, but added an American flag to distract people from the fact that he ate and defecated fake gold.
I would rather spend that money on a pair of Joe Biden dentures.
I hope Biden drops the release before the November elections; my overnight teeth grinding is getting out of control!
