(Cover Photo generated by ChatGPT)
(“SACrifice the Truth – Where reality goes to die,” is a new series from Mt. SAC’s online publication, SAC Media, meant to challenge norms and traditional ways of thinking, while entertaining you with outlandish speculation and introducing new schools of thought to your noggin).

WARNING: This article is satire. If your savior is white and your God is insecure, this might not be your gospel.

And on the seventh day, they logged on and lost their f*cking minds.
As the juicy gossip among the holier-than-thou community rises over who might become the next Pope, so do the cries of the chronically unbothered now suddenly deeply concerned about “merit.”

With Cardinals Peter Turkson and Luis Antonio Tagle floating to the top of the Vatican’s papal shortlist, a divine tantrum has broken out on Catholic X (Formally Twitter).

What are they crying about this time you ask? That the Catholic Church might make a DEI hire. (Gasp)

Yep. Because apparently, nothing screams “GODS WILL” like an HR meltdown over melanin.

The Vatican isn’t announcing a new Pope, they’re triggering the anti-DEI multiverse.
Forget centuries of papal bull colonization, gilded robes, or a billion-dollar art collection built on the backs of exploited cultures.

The real danger is that the next Pope might be a brown man.

“Papal colonization: The Doctrine of Discovery established a religious, political, and legal justification for colonization and seizure of land not inhabited by Christians. Foundational elements of the Doctrine of Discovery can be found in a series of papal bulls, or decrees, beginning in the 1100s, which included sanctions, enforcements, authorizations, expulsions, admonishments, excommunications, denunciations, and expressions of territorial sovereignty for Christian monarchs supported by the Catholic Church. “

Source:https://upstanderproject.org/learn/guides-and-resources/first-light/doctrine-of-discovery

Let’s play a game shall we?
Ask yourself this:

Would Jesus appoint a brown Pope? (Spoiler Alert: Jesus was a brown Palestinian Jew. He’d probably f*ck with it.)


Would a non-white Pope still represent God’s will? If your answer is no, you might want to reread the Book of Who Asked You.

Final Thoughts from the back of the Confessional:
DEI isn’t an enemy. Jesus was never white. And if your faith crumbles the moment someone non-European wears the mitre, then maybe it’s not faith you’re protecting… It’s your privilege.

Stay suspicious, stay sarcastic, and most importantly—stay SAC’d up.
Reporting live from the Vatican gift shop with an overpriced rosary and a cause, this has been your favorite holy-ish SAC-tivist in journalism.