A Student Publication of Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, CA


A Student Publication of Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, CA


A Student Publication of Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, CA


Super Bowl Sunday is the gateway drug for future degenerates

The allure of winning big turns an average person into a pathological sports gambler.
Anthony Solorzano
Image created by Anthony Solorzano

The Super Bowl has the ability to turn an average person into a degenerate willing to place bets on the game just to have something to cheer for aside from Usher.

With the two teams set, the wallets of millions of people around the country get loose. I know this because as soon as the teams are slotted into the Super Bowl, I get on my computer, put together 100 squares and involve my friends and family in a pool for the game.

In this year’s pool, more than half of the participants don’t even know the rules of football or where the Chiefs play their home games. A Super Bowl pool consists of 100 squares and the buy-in is typically set at $5 a square. As soon as each square is sold, a random number between 0-9 is assigned to the top and left side of the grid. There’s a winner at each quarter and the winning square is decided by the ending numbers of the score. The square that falls on the ending numbers of the score takes the pot.

This type of wagering makes non-football fans ask, “What the hell is a safety call?” and “What are the chances of it happening?” All of a sudden the rules matter. Who knew a simple $5 bet would turn them into a bunch of Harold Ratner from “Uncut Gems” watching the Celtics and Kevin Garnet dominating the Philly in the 2012 NBA playoffs?

This year’s Super Bowl will happen in the gambling capital of the world: Raiders’ home field Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. According to Legal Sports Report, it projects a record $1.3 billion will be bet on Super Bowl 58, up 20% from the previous record set.

That’s not counting the $500 that are in play with the pool I put together. My mom doesn’t like football but she bought four squares. I can already hear her yelling at Brock Purdy, “This is me. All right? I’m not a fuckin’ athlete, this is my fuckin’ way. This is how I win. All right?” with two minutes on the clock and the 49ers needing three points to secure her money.

Sports betting has recently become legal in certain states; California is not one of them. According to Thelines.com, this year’s Super Bowl will have the most amount of money being wagered legally with 33 states having legalized it.

The accessibility of betting apps like FanDuel and BetMGM make it easier to place a prop bet on the color of the Gatorade poured on the winning coach to the amount of times the commentators refer to a classic hair fade as the “Travis Kelce.” AGA reports that 30 million adults will place a traditional sports bet online or with a bookie.

That means that 30 million Americans are gearing up to defend their bet on the amount of times Taylor Swift will be shown on TV. Anytime the wager is called stupid, the degenerate gambler will answer, “I disagree.”

Since the Supreme Court legalized commercial sports betting in the United States, it’s been on the rise. Placing a bet in sports and taking a risk on a team heightens the entertainment aspect of sports, according to sports journalist Steven D. Thompson.

Sports betting also feeds the human nature of competitiveness, “By placing a winning ticket, they think that they are on top of the game,” Thompson said.

The climax of “Uncut Gems” comes when Harold places a bet on the Celtics and Kevin Garnet after he sells him a mystical gem. The money he uses for the bet was owed to a bookie who sent his muscle to collect throughout the entire movie.

Harold is after the next big hit. On the Sunday of the Super Bowl, some will hit big. Some will lose big. The people that bought a square from my pool will be engaged in every snap and watch the game the same way Harold watched the Celtics. The casual viewers will look past the commercials and demand the 49ers kick a field goal.

Someone will finish the game with more money in their pocket. Others will scramble to pay up. I just hope I don’t have to send my family the muscle to collect the buy-ins.

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About the Contributor
Anthony Solorzano
Anthony Solorzano, Opinions Editor
Anthony Solorzano is the Opinions Editor. He has been pursuing journalism since he realized he hated his job. Anthony loves to tell stories using humor. He finds pop culture to be the truest form of pretentious art.

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