Most if not all students’ educational paths are laid out in front of them. From pre-k to kindergarten, elementary, middle and then high school. That’s 12 straight years of education and at the end of those 12 we are catered right into college for another four to six years. Little did I know I would feel that fatigue.
2020
I gained consciousness over my life during my first semester of college. In other words, I discovered I had control over my life. The first year of my college experience was during the pandemic in 2020 and then began my first semester at the University of LaVerne, majoring in math and education.
COVID was an unpredictable event trapping new college students in their rooms for semesters on end. I remember sitting in my warmed room from the congestion of clothes and uncleanliness figuring out how to navigate the new zoom lectures and other online services. My brain, nearly everyday, felt empty. Almost like I had not been retaining information, which naturally led me to struggle overall.
My parents, like most, were on top of me about staying in school and developing my education. However, everyday my thoughts were scarily dark and the burden of it all felt like I was being crushed under a building. I was not happy at this era of my life so I decided to drop out and focus on work.
I felt the guilt and the threat of incoming shame knowing I was about to disappoint my family and potentially throw away everything every kid works hard for. I knew I had to make a choice or else I was truly uncertain how my life would have played out.
2021
When the world began to open up, and I had not been in school for two semesters now, instead choosing to work two jobs. Exhaustion was a constant flow state. I was full-time employed at Sonic Drive-Thru while being a part-time lead at Raging Waters. Later on I moved to becoming a full-time employee at Target where I would spend the next few years. I made new friends who I still keep with me to this day, but I was still feeling empty. I am working making money the same as I would if I graduated from school, why am I still not fulfilled? Simple answer, my mind knew what I wanted before my body did.
2024
Fall came around and I have not been in school for four semesters now. I let my cold deep sadness creep up on me again and I was ready for another change. On my own accord I applied and registered for the Fall 2024 semester at Mt. SAC going in undeclared. There I realized I had an array of classes that fulfilled certain requirements, but the difference being they were interesting because I picked them. That semester, I registered for earth science, writing, fashion and spanish. That is when I discovered that I missed the feeling of walking into a room and having to create new relationships and discovering what you are good at. On that note, I discovered I was pretty good with writing.
2025
I registered for my next semester. Astronomy, Spanish, and intro to podcasting. Where little did I know, I would have to create a podcast from scratch, which I ended up loving.
The mixture of writing and production classes inspired me to take bigger risks and follow what was speaking to my character. I took a Korean language class, voice acting class and along the way ended up with journalism as my major.
It is weird to think I have aspirations now. I love interviewing and producing, and I want to host my own show one day. I want to be a voice actor and one day, have my job take me to Korea and experience life there.
When I think about school and where I am at now, it is followed by a warming sensation and a lightness in my head. I found a way to create a path of my own that I am happy with and feels true to me.
Continuing in 2025 and onward, I have joined Mt. SAC’s award-winning journalist program, SAC Media, aspiring to get more of my producing work out and with time and effort my very own podcasts. Knock on wood, I will become a Hollywood Reporter. For now I have learned to take one step at a time and grow my production, reporting and personality presence. I have never felt this motivated and proud of myself for manufacturing my own journey.
