Given that ‘Opinions’ are my domain, it was only right that I myself throw my hat in the ring.
1. Half of you people own handheld consoles for the fashion and I personally think you should be flayed for this.
Look, I’m all for having handheld consoles. My first personal ‘console’ was a Nintendo 3DS that I cherished more than life itself. What I’m not all for is people buying them purely for the fashion instead of the enjoyment gained from playing on the consoles. Nowadays people are acquiring these handhelds like the DS, PS Vita and the PSP because they saw it on some Pinterest board.
2. Single player games clear online multiplayer games 90% of the time.
This isn’t me saying that I loathe online multiplayer games with my entire being. I play a ton of them and have for a really long time but I have a much more fulfilling experience playing singleplayer games more than I do playing multiplayer ones. Doing things on your own and being able to say ‘I did that’ instead of ‘we did that’ feels a lot more awesome. This also applies to singleplayer experiences apart of multiplayer games (story modes, campaigns, single-player worlds, etc.)
3. Just because you don’t listen to mainstream rap or rock doesn’t make you ‘niche’ or ‘mysterious’.
This is to all the people who listen to Radiohead, Alex G, Panchiko, Jeff Buckley and other adjacent artists and think that you’re the next Andrew Fantano because you enjoy something that isn’t played on the radio. You aren’t niche, you’re the complete opposite. I’m not saying you can’t listen to them, I’m saying that you should go explore the bands that influenced the sounds you like and maybe even experiment into new genres.
4. 90% of you who say you listen to ‘everything’ are lying to yourselves.
Everyone who has ever ridden in another person’s car or had someone ride in their car has offered or been offered the opportunity to play music for those in the car. In this position, people usually say they listen to everything to avoid making a huge decision. Most of the time this has been a lie and when exposed to a genre that isn’t mainstream alternative or rap it’s not liked. You say you’ll listen to anything but the second I put on Indian Math Metal, you look at me funny?
5. Little Caesars is actually one of the best places to get pizza and you’ve been brainwashed to think otherwise.
This one comes from a recent encounter with the pizza through a pitch meeting (thanks again Kevin.) Little Caesars isn’t bad whatsoever, dare I say it’s the one of the best pizza chains ever actually. It’s affordable, it tastes good for the price and most of all it’s consistent. You know exactly what you’re getting every time you order it. This isn’t even including the sides either, the Crazy Bread and the Crazy Puffs are some of the greatest items to come from a pizza place and I will die on that hill.
6. More people should play or at the minimum try tabletop roleplaying games with their friends.
Playing tabletop roleplaying games with your friends is something that I believe everyone should try at some point. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has had an imagination at some point. Having an imagination as an ADULT is one of the best things that someone can have as well. Playing Dungeons and Dragons, Lancer or Cyberpunk RED or the various other systems that exist and being able to essentially re-invent your creativity in a different way is the most fun someone can have.
7. In-N-Out fries aren’t as bad as you guys are making them out to be.
This is a complete and targeted opinion but they REALLY are not that bad. (Ahem, Josh.) I personally find them to be perfect in every way and have no reason to really add anything to them. Animal Style Fries are awesome as their own thing and so are the fries on their own. You have to be going to either the worst In-N-Outs in California or your tastebuds have been altered by the microplastics in the air.
8. You’re using ragebait as an excuse to be rude and you’re a bum for doing so.
Ragebait has been around for a while. Way longer than the actual term “ragebait” has been popularized and in most cases it’s just being used as an excuse to be rude. 98% of the time it’s someone saying something incredibly insulting about you or something you’re interested in and when you react, you’re teased and called sensitive for “taking the ragebait.” No, you called me a mean word and it wasn’t nice. Lock in.
9. Pickleball isn’t a sport.
Pickleball is a crime against humanity at the very least. It’s more of a disease than it is a sport and I am willing to fight anyone who says otherwise. I have seen entire skateparks removed because people wanted courts made for their P.E. activity turned mainstream for the elderly hobby and that infuriates me more than I can express with words. If you play pickleball, don’t even try to interact with me.
10. Cold pizza is a sin against mankind and if you like it you’re to be silenced.
Another targeted opinion towards a previously written article (ahem, Kaeleb) but if you like cold pizza you can’t be a real person. Just because something can be eaten cold doesn’t mean it should be. “But Moses, it’s convenient since you can just leave it out and eat it in the morning!” I don’t care. If it’s served hot it should be eaten hot, if it’s served cold it should be eaten cold. End of story, you heretic.
Based on the fact that I am the Opinions Editor, I am automatically right in every regard and your attempts to say otherwise are like the buzzing of a fly.
