Opinions are usually seen as topics that are up for debate. However, my takes are woven into the fabric of the universe itself and my opinions have been blessed to be as true and correct as possible.
1: “Superbad” is the greatest teen comedy ever
If you watched “Superbad” in high school, it is the perfect viewing experience. High school life and social dynamics are reflected perfectly in “Superbad,” with a bittersweet ending that mirrors reality for many friend groups headed into college. It is so funny and the performances from the main three actors sell the setting so well. Mohammed is the most commonly used name on Earth.
2: Letterboxd and RYM (rateyourmusic) are stupid
Literally no one cares what you think of any media, especially complete strangers on the Internet (although it is hypocritical to write an opinion piece with that take.) What’s even worse is that users of these sites will gravitate towards a certain type of media and make films be viewed as “Letterboxd films” or make music “RYMcore.” These labels are sometimes applied to amazing works of art, which associates those artworks with a certain “surface level” stereotype (think of MF Doom or Interstellar).
3: Middle class Americans are programmed consumers
The middle class of inner city dwellers and suburbanites has bought into this lie that you can buy your way into being upper class. Your next Shein haul, $10 coffee or $18 slop bowl will make you feel like you are buying into a system that will reward you for being a participant and yet you are met with nothing. The consumer has contributed nothing to society. Social media microtrends dominate consumer spending and consumers are more than willing to buy into it.
4: Tesla drivers are actually the worst drivers
On the topic of overconsumption: Tesla. It may be confirmation bias on my part, but I feel like it is mostly Tesla drivers that will make the stupidest driving mistakes ever. Going 20 in a 45, blowing through yield greens and unsafe merging are all things I have witnessed numerous times from Tesla drivers. Is this due to a certain demographic of people that purchase Teslas? Most likely. Teslas provide a false sense of security, when in reality they are cheaply made knockoffs of better, international EV cars.
5: Below the ankle socks need to be terminated
Why, as an active and benevolent member of society, do I need to be greeted with people’s ankles exposed in their low top Vans or Nikes when I go out? It’s even worse when a person has on pants that are rolled up, as if to show off their lack of proper sockwear. If you are going to wear ankle socks, please do not do it within a one mile radius of me, or better yet, cover it with appropriately fitting pants if you are.
6: Cane’s is trash and I’m tired of pretending it’s not
Raising Cane’s provides nothing to the fast food sphere that isn’t already covered a million times over by their competitors. It is also so ridiculously overpriced. I could never justify spending $12 for three singular tenders and fries, which are sometimes soggy and are always blander than cardboard. It also makes me feel like a big ball of lard after eating it. Cane’s is the plan B or C of fast food options when going out with friends.
7: Kobe Bryant is not a top eight basketball player
People started to overrate Kobe when his cultural impact outweighed his impact on the basketball court. There are talks of him being the GOAT, which simply isn’t true. Yes, “Mamba Mentality” is cool and permeates basketball to this day. And rest in peace to him and his daughter, but there are eight basketball players I can put above him pretty easily. LeBron, MJ, Kareem, Shaq, Magic, Bird, Curry and Tim Duncan are all better on the court, regardless of cultural legacy.
8: People that have worked in retail are nicer than those who haven’t
Retail has taught me so many skills in communication, outreach and teamwork that I simply would have not learned otherwise. You have to treat people with a certain level of respect as part of the job and you learn and see the lengths at which people will go to. I have decided to never reach that point with random food service workers. Those who skip this part of life and go straight into the 9-5 lack a baseline of niceties and respect that come along with customer interaction.
9: I want to be able to walk to the grocery store
It is a fact that you need a car in modern America. But I want a world where I can walk to any place that I would need to repeatedly access. For me, a drive to the grocery store is eight minutes, to a park is six minutes and to my job is 10 minutes, which is on the lighter side of drives for anything. But I want to be able to walk to the park and enjoy the evening free of cars and streets. Car-centrist city planning takes away any beauty and sophistication that could’ve existed in a place such as a Californian suburb.
10: The Nirvana Unplugged is Overrated
I feel like this performance is put up there in the pantheon of the greatest performances of all time. While this is Nirvana performing at its peak, I don’t think it holds the emotional weight of Nirvana performances before and after. It also contains no energy from any of the band, which is the exact opposite of what I appreciate in a live Nirvana performance. Where is Krist Novoselic throwing his bass in the air? Not a good performance without it.
Thank you for reading my facts (opinions). You can now use these talking points in everyday conversation to sound smarter.
